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Monday, April 13, 2015
Romance Stuff #5 - Not a Twilight Fan
I'm not going to get on my high horse about the occult or vampires. It's a fantasy story. I get that. I found Edward's desire to fight the evil within him quite an interesting take on the whole vampire legend. And although parts of the story (vampire baseball game?) were ridiculous, I still enjoyed the book.
Here's my issue. Edward is a danger to Bella. She knows this. He is violent and addicted to her blood. As a human, she can't even handle his physical strength. But she's willing to take any risk for him. For love. For the passionate, tumultuous feelings she is experiencing. Honestly, I don't think this is a good message to be sending teenage girls. Sure he's always there for her. Sure he makes sacrifices, but is that really enough?
What about the girl who falls in love with the golden-hearted guy with rage issues? What about the one whose hormones go off the charts over an alcoholic or drug addict. Surely love will conquer all. Right? Unfortunately, more often that not, WRONG!!! It takes a long time and a lot of work in counseling to overcome those sorts of problems and addictions. Love alone will not solve them. Will power alone will not solve them. They will only get you caught in a horrible cycle of co-dependency.
Okay, maybe you still think I'm ridiculous, but those are the reasons that I'm not a fan. I think the relationship between Edward and Bella is co-dependent, unhealthy, and in any sort of real-life equivalent, destined for disaster. (Click here to see my "No Co-Dependency Allowed" post)
Love is wonderful, feelings are great, but in the end every young woman should make wise, logical, and hopefully Holy Spirit-led decisions about what sort of man she will share her life with. Call me unromantic, but maybe I've learned the hard way, and maybe I just want the best for the young ladies who are my readers.
What do you think of Twilight?
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I have a phobia of vampires, so that right away made it off limits for me. However, what you say above is totally true.ReplyDelete
Yeah, a vampire phobia would totally do it, although you realize they are make believe, right ;) Actually, I was surprised when I watched the movie because I wasn't picturing them quite so creepy. It was more disturbing to me to see it than read it. Plus the special effects stunk and made things seem much more ridiculous.Delete
Oh, I agree. I enjoyed the books and reread them occasionally - but from an adult perspective that is aware how unhealthy and unrealistic the entire thing is. Though the books/movies present a good opportunity to discuss with young people just what is wrong with how their romance is portrayed.ReplyDelete
That is so true. We can turn these messages around with a simple conversation. I know I talk to my daughter about these types of things a lot.Delete
I LOVE this post! I knew that I loved the romance story, but at the same time hated it, and this post made me realize just how important it is to follow your head over your heart! Thank you so much for sharing! :)ReplyDelete
Thanks, Olivia. Actually, this post got me thinking, and next week I'll be writing a follow up post on what healthy vs. unhealthy love "feels" like. The title is "Cappuccino, Champagne, and Crack." You might want to stop back for it :)Delete
I have not watched or read these.. I saw the commercial & had no desire to even check it out.. I do agree totally with your post.. Not a healthy romance..ReplyDelete
Yeah, really it shouldn't be too hard to figure out. Just look at the way he appears predatory and she's collapsing against him. I didn't read it for a long time, but when I started writing YA I felt like it would be important market research. I just recently watched the movie for comparison. If anything, it was even worse.Delete
I agree, and I'm speaking as someone who enjoyed reading the books (but hated the poorly-acted movies). I was reading it as an adult who was able to recognize the unhealthy aspects of the relationship while still enjoying other aspects of the story. Whenever I talk to teens who read the books I point out what's wrong with it. Interesting to me is that boys tend to already have seen the issues while girls often don't. (It does depend on the girl). I think the movie, being so poorly acted, highlights the ridiculous parts of the story. Vampires do lend themselves well to being a picture of the struggle against temptation, but the only solution to the struggle should be Christ's power at work in us, not our own willpower. I was inspired to write my own vampire YA which explored this from a more Biblical perspective. It bothered me so much that Bella was willing to become a creature who would FOREVER struggle with the desire for blood, a potentially murderous desire, just to be with the boy she loved. Please, no, girls.ReplyDelete
It doesn't surprise me that boys see it quicker, as more boys are thinkers and more girls are feelers. And that kind of intense love can "feel" great in the short term. Bella perfectly illustrates some of the co-dependent behavior I mentioned in the article I linked to, both in her fatal attraction to Edward and in her willingness to completely change herself for him.Delete
The thinker/feeler aspect is so true. I remember when I first read it I instantly saw why they were so popular - they're the teen girl ultimate fantasy dream - instant soul-mates, unwavering devotion, etc. Unfortunately a lot of people are too co-dependent rather than depending on the only one true constant.Delete